lets start a swedish sibling band together
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
