I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
