Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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