Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
kristin has been a bad kristin
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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