I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
