white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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