Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
