I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
