you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
