I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
