This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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