Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
