There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
