I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
