fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
