Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
