The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
