I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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