i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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