why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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