elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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