How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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