I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
im six kinds of drunk right now
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
