youre lurking in front of me
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
