I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
