Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
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