I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
smell my finger.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
