All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
