**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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