dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
where does the pee come out of this thing
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
