your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
