dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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