i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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