I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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