For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
