Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.

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(905): View more from Ontario

The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen

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(859): View more from Kentucky

They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.

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(727): View more from Florida

Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion

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(734): View more from Michigan

Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me

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(817): View more from Texas

It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups

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