I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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