Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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