they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize