sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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