We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
