I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
