What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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