Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
