she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
