He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize