Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
