oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
