I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
