well I can't set my house on fire every night
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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