When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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