So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
