oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
