Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
accomplished twins. life is a go
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
