I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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