i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
