this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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