i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
