The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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