I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
