Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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