I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
