its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize