i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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