I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
