Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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