he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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