my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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