I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
