he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
